Watch My Sodium

Salt is great. Let's blog about it.

What the hell is this thing?

It's a giant fucking block of salt. That's right. A Himalayan salt block, which actually serves as a cooking surface. I've had this thing for a couple of years now and have honestly only used it a couple of times. It's definitely more of a novelty item, but whenever I use it, I'm extremely happy that I did.

There's no need to really season your food when you cook with this thing. It naturally imparts a mineraly, salty flavor to whatever you throw on top of it. You can bake food with it in the oven, sautee on top of your gas range, or use it as a fancy schmancy serving platter for cheeses or sushi. I decided to go with some shrimp.

Heat the salt plate up slowly, over a medium flame. You don't want direct flame on this thing, as it will cause it to crack. I know this because mine already has a giant crack in it. Give it like 15 minutes to heat up and throw your shrimp on there.

Since this was a lower level of heat, I cooked these things for around 5-8 minutes, turning them on each side to give them some salt love, and even setting them on their tops for a minute to make sure they were evenly cooked all around.

 

I then placed a couple of avacados in the food processor, with fresh basil, jalepeno, garlic, salt and pepper and pureed with olive oil until there was a happy consistency.

 

 I put it all together and snacked my face off.

This salt block thing is pretty cool. It really imparts an awesome, earthy salt flavor to food. I just need to find some more ways to use it before I break it. Or eat it.

That is all.

- Fat Kid

Last Meal

As some of you may well know, I recently embarked on a foolish quest to rid my body of the foul toxins related to the most wonderful problem solver on earth: alcohol. It's been 8 days since my last favorite beverage, and I must say that I can’t remember being more weirded out than when I woke up this past Saturday without the slightest inkling of a hangover. This re-invented version of a Saturday morning revealed the rarely-experienced world of…actually doing something with your free time.

It’s amazing how much you can get done when you aren’t dehydrated, nauseous, suffering from the booze-headache-from-hell, or planning the rest of the day around when you can start drinking again to trick that stubborn hangover into relaxing for a little while. At least until Sunday morning.

But let’s take a step back. Prior to waking up into the sober world, I needed a proper send off. This involved drinking several of my favorite beers, and even incorporating beer into the cooking process of a delicious meal.

And here we go.

• 1 beer
• 3 beef short-ribs (or more, you could probably use up to 6 for this)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 carrots, chopped
• 3 celery stalks, chopped
• 4 garlic cloves, chopped
• 3 bay leaves
• 3 sprigs of fresh thyme
• 1 box of beef stock
• salt
• pepper
• olive oil

Pre heat the oven to 350.

Generously season the short ribs with salt and pepper. Heat a skillet over medium-high heat, coating the bottom of the pan with the olive oil. Once the pan is hot enough, add the short ribs. I recommend browning these things a little slower than you would traditionally do with say, a steak. Instead of a high-heat-2-minute-per-side-sear, let these things brown over medium-high heat for about 6-7 minutes per side. This meat benefits from a slower cooking process, as there are a great deal of tougher areas that need to be broken down to get this thing to fall apart on your plate. Am I an expert on this? Fuck no I’m not. But I’ve done this and it works, so take my word for it.

Once you've browned each side, remove the ribs from the skillet and set them aside for later. Set the heat to medium low, and add your onion, celery, and carrot to the skillet. Season with salt and pepper and cook very slowly, allowing the veggies to sweat. I know sweating veggies sounds gross but that's just what you're supposed to do. This sweating step should take about 20 minutes. Add the garlic to the party at about the 10 minute mark. 

Once the veggies are tender, add your beef stock, beer, bay leaves, and thyme sprigs. What kind of beer do you ask? Well that's really up to you. This being my last night of drinking, I made sure to grab one of my favorite IPAs. 

You could probably use any beer of your choice. You could also probably add more than one. I was not about to not-drink more than one of these though. Selfish me. 

Bring the newly added liquid element to a boil. 

Return the short ribs to their happy-beefy-beer-bath, cover the skillet with tin foil, and put the whole damn thing in the oven and let those bad boys braise (make sure you place the skillet on the lower part of the oven). Now you'll have some beer-drinking time to kill. 

I forgot to mention that this whole process kind of takes forever. 

Leave the ribs covered for 90 minutes. At the 90 minute mark, remove the tin foil and continue braising for an additional 45 minutes, turning the ribs occasionally. The sauce should have reduced by half when it's all said and done. 


And try not to open the oven too often. You want to keep it hot in there so that the liquid remains nice and bubbly throughout the process, slowly reducing down. The reason mine doesn't look so bubbly here is because I kept opening the oven to take silly pictures. 

Now turn the broiler on high and broil the ribs for about 8 minutes, turning if need be, and basting with the liquid as you go. You want to kind of glaze the ribs with the liquid, while the high heat allows everything to get nice and crispy. Once you're truly happy with your crispiness action, you're ready to serve that ish. 


So what should you serve this with? I don't know, something creamy and mashy to soak up all that delicious sauce. Mashed potatoes, polenta, or a puree of some kind. I cooked some  butternut squash with some butter, bacon, and garlic until soft, then added it all to the food processor and pureed with a stream of olive oil until I was happy with the consistency. 

Serve the ribs with your creamy/mashy side-of-choice, and make sure to spoon out some of the veggies from the braising liquid, as well as the liquid itself. 

The ribs will practically jump off of the bone at this point. 


This was delicious. However, the extended cooking time allowed for a shit ton of beer drinking, which may have allowed me to be even more excited about the end result. You really can't fuck this up though. This is a pretty classic preparation for short-ribs.  


The next couple of things I cook and write about in the near future will not be influenced by alcohol in any way, so I can be pretty definitive regarding it's success. Or failure. 


Cheers to nothing.


- Sober Kid