Burger Party

As America continues to get fat, the District continues to participate in the ever growing waist-size-expansion by providing us with a plethora of opportunities to consume our nation's greatest contribution to the food world: the burger.

 I'm not complaining.


DC is now home to several burger joints, offering beef-bun-cheese happiness from Capitol Hill to K Street. With this many burger options, it has become clear that I begin a personal Fat Kid mission to taste each and every one of them, with all cholesterol-raising/possible-heart-attack-issues aside.  


We begin with Bobby's Burger Palace.

Pictures courtesy of thankyouverymuchIstolethem

Super-uber-duber chef Bobby Flay has landed in DC with an opening of his latest  burger/shake concept. I have to admit, when I first really started getting into food, I thought this red head freckly-fucker was the second coming of food-Christ. 

Not that he can't cook, but I guess I just got tired of hearing him talk about chipotles and seeing him hang out with bros that look like this. 

Anyways, let's talk about the damn burger. While he offers specialty burgers served with ingredients from their respective American locations, I kept it very simple by going with the "Crunch-burger," topped with double American cheese, pickles, and potato chips. I drizzled on some of his signature "burger sauce" and holyfuckingshit.

This is a good burger. I mean, really good. You can't go wrong with the basic ingredients, as the beef was perfectly seasoned and cooked to a medium-rare, while the chips added a salty crunch, rounded out with the acid of the pickles and the smokiness of the sauce. I wanted/could have eaten maybe like two more, but I needed to make room for the fries, sweet potato fries, onion rings, and malted vanilla/chocolate shake.   

Gross. Did I eat all of this? No I had friends with me. My friends sampled some of the other burger offerings, including:

• The Dallas Burger - Spice Crusted/Coleslaw/Monterey Jack/ BBQ Sauce/Pickles
• The Santa Fe Burger - QuesoSauce/PickledJalapenos/BlueCornChips
• The L.A. Burger - Avocado Relish/Watercress/Cheddar Cheese/Tomato

There were smiles and pleasant groans all around. I could call this the best burger in DC, but that wouldn't be very fair nor accurate, as I have many more to try. 

Next on the list: Shake Shack.

- Fat Kid

Masa 14

In a valiant attempt to resurrect my blog, I'm going to start writing about where I eat as opposed to documenting my Fat Kid cooking adventures. I'm doing so for a couple of reasons:

1. I have officially relocated to D.C., which has resulted in culinary overstimulation due to the abundance eating options. 

2. I live in a studio apartment with a closet-sized kitchen. 

I still cook, I'm just too distracted with the neighborhood eats. Let's begin. 

Following my celebratory first-night-out, which included a trip to the local tequila dungeon and a run in with the overzealous anti-jay-walking D.C. cops, I met up with a couple of friends to ease any lingering hang-over pains with the quick fix solution of bloody marys and brunch. I had heard good things about Masa 14, a collaborative effort from local chefs Richard Sandoval and Kaz Okochi, who comine their minds to produce a latin/asian fusion menu reflective of both culture's culinary traditions. 

I generally find the whole "fusion" thing to be a bit silly, but my hangover distracted me from any preconceived biases and allowed me to focus purely on stuffingmyeffingface.

Masa 14's brunch offering is a serious deal and should be experienced purely based on the $35 fixed menu, consisting of never ending brunch drinks (traditional bloody marys, mimosas, rye-bacon bloody marys, etc.) and an all you can eat selection of their ENTIRE BRUNCH MENU. They specialize in small plates, so this system works great for groups, or one really really fat person. 

However, the food can be hit or miss at times:

Hits:

• Serrano ham flatbread with goat cheese, cantaloupe, arugula, truffle and lime
• Fruit & granola with yuzu yogurt and blood orange syrup
• Grilled chorizo sausage with a poached egg and salsa mexican
• Crunchy shrimp with chipotle aioli, sesame, scallion and masago
• Fried yucca with chimichurri and citrus aiol
• Anson mills grits with chipotle pepper, oaxaca cheese and green onion

Misses:

• Any type of sandwich (including a riff on Vietnamese Pho and a wagyu beef burger). Mainly because of their buns, which crumble too easily.  
• The smoked brisket hash, which sounded promising, but ended up being their homefries with sausage and egg added. 

Clearly the hits outweigh the misses. My friend liked it so much she puked afterwards. We ate a lot. 

Overall, my trip to Masa 14's brunch was a success that resulted in a glorious 3-hour Sunday nap. When you get this much food/drink for only $35, it's a lot easier to let the less impressive moments slide.

Plus they were pumping in this loud, ultra hip house music that made me feel soooooooo cool. 

I'll be back to try the dinner menu. 

- Fat Kid