Asian Attempt #2

OK so I didn't get my pho fix this week, so I attempted to make some on my own. This really wasn't pho though, it had more of a Thai flare to it since I incorporated red curry and coconut milk into it. I sauteed some onion, some portobello mushrooms, and garlic in olive oil, soy sauce and chili paste. Then I poured in a box of chicken stock, followed by some fish sauce, rice vinegar, the red curry paste, the coconut milk and fresh cilantro. Everything was going fine, until I decided to use this:

What the hell are these things? My choice in noodles further demonstrates my lack of Asian food knowledge. I clearly should have gone with something else. I mean eating anything with the word "cellophane" involved is probably a bad idea, unless you know how to use these things and when. 

I threw them in my broth last minute. They cook in like 2 seconds. He're the problem though: I felt like I was eating a jelly fish. These are the slimiest fucking things to ever be called noodles. They're so slippery that you can barely pick them up with chop sticks, let alone chew them. They just slide right down your throat. If anyone knows the right way to use these things, please let me know. 

Not Asian

- Fat Kid